New Minecraft Update is here! Long gone are the days where a battle is won by just right clicking or left clicking really fast. Now is the dawn of Combat Update!
To be fair, even before the new Minecraft update the bow’s stopped being a one-click shooting thing, but the other weapons remained much the same. Not until today, as the new Minecraft’s update the 1.9 “Combat Update” rolls out on PC we get a slew of new updates. From fighting to monsters to flight. So let’s get to it.
Dual Wielding 4 Life
Much to my disappointment I can’t swing two sword or axes at the same time, but I can put down torches or use a shield, that’s right motherfu…, I mean, that’s right guys we get a new combat item, so fuck you skeletons and your stupid arrows, no more I say! Oh and speaking of arrows.
Multiple Arrow Types
Are you tired of the same arrows always? We’ll I am, but some otherworldly god heeded my call and made it happen. Imagine the splash potions you have and how it can be a pain in the ass to use them with precision, well now you use those affects on arrows. For instance add Instant Damage if you want your flying sticks to murder even faster, or add Instant Healing because you have a bipolar disorder and you want to Murder and Save them at the same time.
Gone are The Days of Fastclick
Before swinging a sword and dealing damage was just a matter of how long your mouse can last while you click like a coked up, meth addict on caffeine. Weapons and tools have a cooldown period on them which measures how much damage you will do on your next swing. So kids remember, aim for the weak points and don’t just bash away at the enemy. Oh yeah and different weapons have different special attacks.
Infinite Ender Dragons
Ender Dragon just doesn’t feel like a final boss, it’s just some flying lizard living in his world until a bunch of squreheaded assholes rip a portal in his back yard and proceed to murder him. But if you felt like killing the poor bastard once was not enough, the Ender Dragon now respawns.
The Endermen Get Busy
Seem like our slender folk got tired of living in an empty sponge looking void and got to building homes for their slender families. Guess who get’s to go there, murder the shit out of them and steal all of their stuff. That’s right! It’s you… you monster. And speaking of monsters.
Introducing The Shulker
I’m going to be honest, I don’t know what the hell it is, looks like block with an eyeball, hasn’t attacked me yet and I wasn’t able to kill it yet, but hey, new things to kill in an endless world. Great news everybody.
Fly you fools!
You don’t exactly get to fly, but can glide with the new Elytra item and I say it’s the next best thing to flying. I glided near the edge of a mountain and knocked of a cow to its death and let me tell you. It was amazing! Best place to try it out is to generate an AMPLIFIED world.
There are a bunch of other things that this new Minecraft update brings, but those are not as exciting, also one is a straight up lie. Patch notes say that Herobrine was removed and I call bullshit on that. I can guarantee that asshat is still out there creepily watching you build dicks out of cobblestone or gold.